[ It's a blessing and a curse to hear those words, but that's far from where his feeling end. Dazai is a man of eternal questions, reassessing and reevaluating every feasible possibility until all the outcomes are accounted for. Tonight, this news is no different.
Unfortunately it comes layered atop the sort of dread that leaves his veins running cold as ice, and vision tunneling for a moment in a wave of panic he doesn't have the luxury or time to afford wallowing in.
It's eventually compartmentalized away; an act of regaining his composure thankfully made all the easier since his hand has settled over top the camera, darkening the screen and obscuring everything from Chuuya's view. It's a precautionary measure, but not entirely necessary since he'd been lying down during the call and not facing the screen.
The silence and his breathing stretch on as the only proof that something is off, and it lasts until Dazai doesn't feel like he's swallowing water instead of air. ]
...Why would you do something like that?
[ His words come off chilly and severe, ultimately sounding harsher than he intends them to. But a defensive, cold as ice level of numbness rises to the surface where fear prefers to root itself in his gut. And all he can think of is the idea of Chuuya doing this- without him, without asking him, without Dazai even knowing.
Chuuya could have died.
Had Corrutpion worked then Chuuya would be dead right now, and Dazai may have not known until someone else informed the network or he heard it in passing through the grapevine. ]
If you'd have asked, I would have been there.
[ Because Dazai has always been there. And above the realization that Corruption apparently isn't manifesting, beyond what that means for Chuuya or even how it changes the part Dazai plays in his life-
Chuuya doing his best to call forth an unstoppable destructive force that Dazai has always been there to quell, forever being the sole person to fill the role of pulling Chuuya's life back from falling over the brink, all without so much as letting him know? That feels like something he can't put a name to. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-06-12 06:10 am (UTC)Unfortunately it comes layered atop the sort of dread that leaves his veins running cold as ice, and vision tunneling for a moment in a wave of panic he doesn't have the luxury or time to afford wallowing in.
It's eventually compartmentalized away; an act of regaining his composure thankfully made all the easier since his hand has settled over top the camera, darkening the screen and obscuring everything from Chuuya's view. It's a precautionary measure, but not entirely necessary since he'd been lying down during the call and not facing the screen.
The silence and his breathing stretch on as the only proof that something is off, and it lasts until Dazai doesn't feel like he's swallowing water instead of air. ]
...Why would you do something like that?
[ His words come off chilly and severe, ultimately sounding harsher than he intends them to. But a defensive, cold as ice level of numbness rises to the surface where fear prefers to root itself in his gut. And all he can think of is the idea of Chuuya doing this- without him, without asking him, without Dazai even knowing.
Chuuya could have died.
Had Corrutpion worked then Chuuya would be dead right now, and Dazai may have not known until someone else informed the network or he heard it in passing through the grapevine. ]
If you'd have asked, I would have been there.
[ Because Dazai has always been there. And above the realization that Corruption apparently isn't manifesting, beyond what that means for Chuuya or even how it changes the part Dazai plays in his life-
Chuuya doing his best to call forth an unstoppable destructive force that Dazai has always been there to quell, forever being the sole person to fill the role of pulling Chuuya's life back from falling over the brink, all without so much as letting him know? That feels like something he can't put a name to. ]